Odd and Curious Thoughts of the Week

(1) I’ve been thinking a great deal lately about bank names.  I’m sure people pick their bank in terms of location, or online service, but what if we based it on names?  I’d be petrified that Wells Fargo would take my paycheck, transfer it into gold coins, lock it up in a ricky wooden box, and bounce it along on a stagecoach to Dallas.  There are robbers out there, people.  And who is Chase chasing, really?  I kinda like the image of Frost, where their people are cold and rigid and won’t let some stranger sign my name on a check without peering at them over wire-rimmed glasses and asking for seventeen forms of ID.  But it crosses a line somehow with all the I Heart America banks, like adding Federal or National or America to the title gives it automatic credibility.  Would you switch brands of applesauce if it said Applesauce of Liberty?  

(2) My daughter was staring forlorn out the window the other day on her way to school.  I was worried she was harboring some vengeful and growing hate toward me since I yelled at her earlier about putting on her shoes.  ”I’m just thinking of a castle playground where there are many sparkling pools that transfer you into a mermaid and you can travel through special tunnels.”  Sweet.  All the while I thought you were mad.

(3) This Saturday, I took my children to the Stock Show in my hometown.  I might have been wearing a pair of Seven jeans and fancy boots from Dillards, but I really felt that I fit in.  As we walked around looking at pigs and cows ready for auction, my children said the following things: (a) What’s that awful poo smell? (b) Oh my gosh! A cow! (c) why does that goat have so much fur? (d) can we leave for lunch soon? and (e) where’s the antibacterial gel?  Oh wait.  That last one was me.  Maybe I am a city girl after all. 

(4) I was watching Martha Stewart on Television the other day, where she spent like ten total hours preparing beef broth out of bones and vegetables.  It involved sauteeing, deglazing, simmering, checking, and straining. In the end, it made like one container of broth.  Girl, if I’m spending my precious Saturday worried that much over future soup, it better make enough to last me until retirement.  

(5) I think it’s funny that my husband and father refuse to speak Starbuck’s little language and just say “I’ll have a small coffee please.”  I wonder how many men walk in there all bow-legged and manly asking for a medium cup of joe.  The baristas just roll their eyes, like “would it have been so hard for you to just say grande?  Couldn’t you have gone to McDonalds if you hate our fancy code words?”

(6) I made an entire pan of roasted brussel sprouts the other day.  My daughter acted like I was asking her to eat battery acid, but there was ice cream for dessert and she was determined to prevail.  Finally, after plenty of mock gagging and loads of whining, she peeled off the layers of half a sprout and dramatically put each layer on her tongue like a Listerine Breath Strip.  Oh the drama in our home. 

(7) And finally, don’t make an entire pan of roasted brussel sprouts.  You have lots of leftovers no one will eat, you can’t throw it into a quiche, and they make your house smell like used socks.

Comments

  1. Your daughter is awesome. I would totally play on that playground.

  2. I’m new to your blog and I have to say, I LOVE it!! :)

  3. I would change banks if it were named Applesauce of Liberty Bank. That awful poo smell is poo, smelling. Martha is misguided about soup, but she makes wonderful dried floral arrangements. I don’t drink coffee, so when I get dragged into Starbucks (I drink hot chocolate), I don’t know the code words either. Most importantly, roasted brussel sprouts demand high drama. That is all.

  4. Hysterical! And please pass the Brussels sprouts.

  5. i’ve been making smallish pans of brussel sprouts— using this recipe— so now we periodically have a fishy, smelly used sock odor in house.

  6. ;-}

    love those random observations …

  7. Absolutely too stinking funny. You tell it, girl. You tell it real. L.O.V.E. this!!!

  8. Hilarious. I usually just avoid brussels sprouts period.

  9. This is great!
    I’d play on the castle playground too.
    I also cannot bring myself to use Starbuck’s “fancy code words.”

  10. HYSTERICAL… you really are funny. I loved it and needed a good laugh.
    Oh I do love brussel sprouts but my other half does not so…I buy just few and cook them for me.
    I told him “it is just cabbage like you eat cole slaw what is the difference?” he said something about the mayonnaise and sauce. I give up.

  11. Fifth Third Bank is a bank name that bothers me. It makes it sound like they actually finished 7th but they called it Fifth Third so everybody could get a trophy.

  12. Patti DeNucci says:

    You are a natural comedian, my friend! Life provides endless material, too, doesn’t it??? All best, Patti

  13. Add a touch of sugar to the brussel sprouts – they’re actually really good.

    Great post!

  14. I personally love brussel sprouts. They are especially delicious with a sauce of some kind. Your blog is lots of fun, thank you.

  15. Regarding item 2… who could have known? Yes, sweeeet :) .

  16. You’ve done it again – charmed me with your uniquely you wit. I love it. And I confess: 1) I love your daughter. Can totally relate. 2) I love brussel sprouts, I’d eat a whole stinky pan of them myself. 3) I’m a Starbucks barista and even I am embarrassed to speak “code” (though I do find it hilarious how many cranky old men come in grunting they “just” want a cup of coffee, and then proceed to look incredibly irritated with me asking what size and whether they want dark or medium roast and if they’d like room for cream). Thanks for the smiles this night, friend.

  17. I have nominated you for Versatile and Very Inspiring Blogger award :) To follow up see: http://oneaday34.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/ive-been-nominated-for-a-blogging-award/

  18. Brussel sprouts do smell like used socks…..and taste the same. Nevertheless, a lot of food marketing went on at our house when the kids were small. Broccoli = trees. Oh, you don’t like meatloaf? That is because you don’t know what’s good yet. More for me.

  19. :)

    You are such, such fun.

  20. Honestly, I just needed these laughs. You’ll never know how much but I have such a funny smirk on my face it makes me happy nobody is home but me. I get too serious about life.

  21. Oh, Martha. She does seem to have an inordinate amount of time on her hands. Or minions. I’m thinking it’s minions.

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