- I can sit for hours and watch movie trailers. That’s more fun to me than actually watching movies. I realize that’s weird.
- Speaking of movies, I went to see World War Z by myself the other day and was wedged in between two sets of lovers. That cheered me up immensely.
- Thank heavens we don’t walk around with thought bubbles above our heads. Like today, I was at the grocery store and all of a sudden I stopped dead in my tracks in the chip aisle. “OMG,” I thought to myself. “Pringles is the most amazing food label name ever created.” I was slow clapping the guy who thought of this name in my mind when someone came up behind me, all excuse me I need to reach the nacho sauce. I pretended I was studying the labels on the salted almonds, naturally, not hurrahing the marketing genius behind Pringles.
- I asked some employee at our local grocery store if they had pie weights. “Is that like an avocado masher?” Yes. Yes, that’s exactly the same.
- So I finally got a literary agent, which is amazing and fabulous and beyond my wildest dreams. Her editor (who is also awesome) asked me if the novel I wrote is the one I want to start my career off with. I told her that I was holding back and that I actually had seventeen brilliant novels in my drawer to choose from. No really. I just have this one. We’ll have to make it work.
- Pringles. I mean seriously. The word even sounds crunchy.
- I really can’t stand kids music, like those CD’s with kids singing bible songs or itsy bitsy spider where I have Jesus Loves Me running through my head all day long. I can take it for a while, and I know it’s healthy for my children, but sometimes I just think a little dose of Red Hands by Walk off the Earth levels the playing field. And my kids just might have certain Kasey Musgraves songs memorized. Don’t judge.
- So back at the grocery store (my life is fun, ya’ll). I like to go to Whole Foods and just kinda peruse the place like I’m a regular. No one realizes I’m having a mini-panic attack at the prices of jarred mayonnaise and I don’t really understand half of what they sell there. But I was buying produce and picked up a box of fresh okra, all yeah I’m totally going to make a dish using fresh okra. Who are we kidding.
- Kate Middleton looked glowing and radiant with a face full of make up and a full hair blow-out as she walked her infant out of the hospital. The English drink tea for hours and instead of going on lame vacations they go on holiday. It confirms it. I’m going to move across the pond for a while, where apparently butterflies rest on noses and there’s crumpets for everyone.
- I’m super glad the government is now monitoring all our computer use, so they can get their kicks out of seeing my recent searches. Eg, who is ariel castro again, recipes using okra, that movie with that Saturday Night Live actress who gets divorced but loves that other dude, discount pie weights, what do I do with this crappy organic Guatemalan green sauce I just bought at whole foods, is fish oil worth the hype, and movie trailer addicts.com. I sound like an idiot.
- Pop Chips? Come on.