Befriending Midwesterners on Wine Country Tours

So you’re in California on vacation and want to see some wineries.  I highly recommend you avoid Napa where fancy people go and head straight to the low-end of Sonoma County, where they have vineyards that only supply juice to Kendall Jackson for their jug wine.  You pay a mid-priced, slightly-on-the-low-side amount for a wine […]

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Loving All People (even our enemies)

We are taught to love people.  Across the land scrolled out on rainbows and on blimps and in store windows, are the words “love” and “accept” and “be kind.”  We like to think of ourselves as loving people, embracing those who are different from ourselves.  And we think of ourselves as progressive and modern for […]

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Church

I sat in church with my son today.  I went to the contemporary service because I was tired and didn’t feel like getting dressed up and sitting with the older people singing hymns.  I just wanted to sit near the back and rest for a while.  Sometimes it’s just peaceful to be around worship.  The […]

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 The Day Larry the IT Guy Sabotaged the Out of Office Assistant Messages

I’m out of the office, at a beach, drinking overpriced coronas, and pissing everyone off with my vacation photos.  MacKinzie, Accounting Department I will be out of the office the week of June 5 for a wedding.  I’ve been talking about this event for the past two years, taking up precious server space with photos […]

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Transcript from the Q-Tip Headquarters Marketing Meeting

  “Okay everyone.  It’s time to think of new brand packaging.  I’m thinking photos.” “Photos of what, Jim?  Everyone uses Q-tips to clean out ear wax. Just stick a picture of an ear on there and move on. I have a promotional video to shoot. You’re wasting my time.” “Um, excuse me, Larry.  No one […]

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The Old Tree

  People always like to describe me.  Sweeping, stoic, strong. My favorite is majestic.  They point to my broad arms, my lushness, the color of my trunk.  What a fictitious and silly thing. Who cares what color my bark turns out to be. It would appear at first glance that I care, nurture, and provide shade […]

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Level Number Nine

My son takes swimming lessons, which is just another thing to remember in a long list of things that go with children.  Call out spelling words, pack lunches, get them to school, hug them and tell them you love them, but good gracious can’t you just get out of the car. Usually I drop off […]

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Housekeeping Tips from Celebrities

Gwyneth Paltrow At our home, we only use all-natural, paraffin free, non-toxic cleaners made from starfruit and the bark from aspen trees, squeezed with a press and mixed with turmeric.  Sometimes we just take a moment and drink the solution as a colon cleanse. My child, Apple, is always asking for it as a refreshing […]

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Lifestyle Tips from Amanda (The Lifestyle Novice)

  When it comes to housekeeping, hire someone. I’m not going to feel guilty about this. I’ll go without new clothes, let my hair go grey, eat generic-brand food. But my housekeeper stays.  If I could afford it, I’d have someone live here full time just to do my laundry.   Buy fresh flowers. Not […]

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Random Thoughts: on writing and thank you

I write a lot.  I write my feelings, I write my heart, I write instead of doing laundry, I write because I think more clearly when words are organized in neat little sentences. Which is odd because nothing in my house is organized.  I ordered Marie Kondo’s book and went on a weekend bender trying to […]

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