Vaccinated people post online when they get vaccinated despite not being online people generally, because they are People Who Are Not Online Except to Brag About Being Vaccinated.

Vaccinated people constantly text their friends asking them when their vaccine appointment is. Not in one simple text, but in multiple bubbles like crazy people.  Got it yet? Second shot? Important!

If you don’t respond, Vaccinated people continue to bug you about volunteering in order to get the vaccine and how you will die without it and sometimes, they even send chicken recipes along with articles on herd immunity. 

Vaccinated people are over there with their sleeves rolled up high displaying bright orange arm bandages to show off the fact that are fully vaccinated, despite the fact that blood isn’t actually seeping from their arms and there really is no need for a bandage, especially not after three whole days.  

Vaccinated people have printed bumper stickers about vaccinations (GO VAX!), they talk about it to anyone who will listen like an old war story, and they have frames made for their CMS vaccination card. That’s odd.  It really is.  

Vaccinated people really want to communicate how deeply terrible each and every one of them felt after taking the second shot.  So many aches and chills! It felt like their bones were breaking! But it was worth it to protect our collective civilization! 

The side effects of Vaccinated people from their second dose are likely much worse than anyone else, most likely, and they will tell you so repeatedly. WAY WORSE. 

Don’t try to explain to Vaccinated people that you, too, are vaccinated and yet only had a sore arm or a mild headache.  That will infuriate the Vaccinated people and they won’t believe you, or will think your immune system is not very strong and you are a person who doesn’t have any emotions or cries at movies.  

Vaccinated people will judge you if you say you’re healthy and you don’t want to get a new and untested vaccine.  Clearly you talk to your cats and only watch online conspiracy theory videos.

To all the Vaccinated people: go on a trip.  Enjoy your life.  Stop bragging about this one thing like you stopped the European invasion.  We get it, you can wear a mask under your nose, eat at an Applebee’s again, and see your grandchildren. FOCUS ON THAT.